In moments of these crazy, hectic days-I close my eyes and take a deep breath. And for a brief moment, everything stills and He reminds me He sees. He sees me.
Even more than the busy schedules and "well-doing", He sees me.
He sees me more than any title or position. More than any affirmation or accolade-He sees me for me.
I fall and I fail. I trip and stumble, yet He sees me and gently bends towards me to help me stand.
There is a battle of gigantic proportions in my spirit and mind. Waves of constant insecurity and inadequacy rage war. Yet, He sees me.
And, in all of these moments when I catch the gaze of my Father, the panic of not being or doing enough eases. My heart calms its frantic beating and the worried thoughts cease and I hear Him call my name gently imploring me to simply trust and remember.
Remember He sees me.
His created one. His eye was on me long before I could do a single thing for myself. And he loved me then as He loves me now, and in a moment where I could lose all I have gained in this world and enter the next-His love would remain and He would still only see me.
I find it doesn't matter my state of current existence. I could be thriving and on top of the mountain or I could be living in the midst of a deep dark pit, and still He sees.
Today marks 5 years since my momma passed from this life into eternity. And the same phrase permeated my heart and mind through those final weeks and days as I wandered desperately where God was in the midst of her deteriorating state. He consistently whispered, I see her. I see you. I have not forgotten. I feel your sorrow and I am personally invested in your pain. I see you.
When my mom was nothing but a shell of herself, He saw her-He loved her.
Whether we are great or small-whether we are broken or whole-whether we are strong or weak...He sees us.
In one of the sweetest stories of God the Father, we find wounded, Egyptian slave, Hagar, running from her mistress, Sarah. Hagar was sorely mistreated and taken advantage of - being asked to sleep with Abram, Sarah's husband, so that Abram would have son because Sarah couldn't give him one. Hagar flees and an angel of the Lord finds her there, gives her comfort and instruction to return to her mistress and to name her son, Ishmael (the God who hears).
It wasn't that the angel rescued her from the terrible situation, and she was able to escape with her baby boy. It wasn't that her baby would grow to be powerful and good, because the angel - in fact - said that it would be the opposite for her boy.
BUT, Hagar knew and understood the power of this moment. It was a moment where she truly felt seen and heard for probably the first time ever in her broken world. Her God had found her, had spoken to her, and by doing so had promised to be with her. She said, "You are the God who sees me. I have seen the One who sees me."
He sees you and he sees me.
Close your eyes real tightly. Can you imagine? Can you fathom it? The world around you fades and He sees only you. In all your glory or in all your ugly. And, our Father loves you unreservedly.
It's not that the other things don't matter, of course they do.
It's just that you, as His child, trumps them all and His loving, compassionate, gracious gaze gets drawn and is fixed on YOU.
I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go; I will counsel you with My eye upon you.
Behold, the eye of the LORD is on those who fear him, on those who hope in his steadfast love.
The eyes of the LORD are toward the righteous And His ears are open to their cry.