Don't grow weary in well doing... But.I.Am. Bone weary. I am weary in my body, my mind, my soul, and my spirit. Currently, I have reached the top of a mountain in this journey, and the adrenaline has started to wane and I'm feeling it. This is just our faith journey-valleys and mountains.
Even physically, I am so tired. My faith is so strong right now, but I'm mentally and physically exhausted. The crazy schedule, so many decisions, ever growing task lists, the perpetual feeling of being behind - it is catching up.
When the path makes you weary, what can we do?
- Return to His Word and sweet presence.
- Remember the why.
- Claim His promises.
I woke up yesterday and in my prayer time, I simply sat in His presence. I didn't ask for anything, I just gave gratitude and asked that He would replenish my strength.
I woke this morning with the same thought of weariness, I am so tired. And truth from several verses in Hebrew came to mind. God was gently replying to my cry of weariness.
Hold tight to hope. Stay confident. Unswervingly, hold on to the faith you possess for He who is coming will not delay. He will fulfill His promises. Patient endurance is what you need, so that you will continue to do what He has asked. Hold on. (Hebrews 10)
God has been so present, and so faithful to answer fervent prayers over the last month or so. And, while, this builds our spirits-the fact remains we are human and we are tired.
Brad and I are managing about 5 jobs between the two of us plus our greatest job-our babies!
I think of Paul and the mission He was on-His life He gave to the cause of Christ. I think of the disciples that were told to leave everything to follow Him. I think of countless missionaries, church planters, ministers of the gospel - giving their lives to this beautiful cause.
We are not alone in this. Others have walked this path before us and others are walking with us now.
When I am weary and overwhelmed, when the schedule seems literally too much to manage-I fall on my knees and I sit at His feet.
I recall the why of this mission of all that God has given me to do. Each role I fill is carried out differently, but the mission of the gospel remains the same. Whether as wife, mom, pastor, women's leader, church planter, friend, neighbor, etc. it remains, so that all may know the love, grace and greatness of our God. So, that people may be transformed in Christ, and then will go and multiply the impact in other communities.
There are lyrics of a new song by Kari Jobe that spin often in my mind, "For this cause I live, for this cause I die. I surrender all, for the cause of Christ."
And then I return to His promises and claim them for my weary heart. His promise is that He will give strength to the weary. I truly believe that through the power of His Spirit living in me, He will infuse me with a strength that comes from Him alone. I believe His wisdom will be the fuel my mind needs to make precise and quick decisions. I believe He will give me clear counsel and will equip me with the ability I need to write, plan, and create for all of these different tasks in front of me. I believe He will give rest and peace for my soul. He is my shepherd and in Him, I lack no good thing.
Everything we have need of is satisfied in Christ Jesus. Hold on, walk on.