I have this sign that my in-laws bought me on vacation. It says, "Heaven just seems a little closer at the beach". And it does for many reasons. For me, it's all about the ocean. When I look at the vast span of water that stretches out farther than we can see, it reminds me of how great God is. When you look at the ocean it seems to go on forever and ever. God is like that. His love and power go on and on. However, amazingly enough, in all of that is still this tendency to get our eyes off of Him, and onto to our problems. Sometimes we just do it. We know what's right, what's necessary even. And, yet, we still do it. We fix our eyes on the problem or situation. We lose focus. We get distracted. It's just what we imperfect humans do.
And then there is grace. There is understanding. There is God.
I have found myself doing this lately. I have this thing. It's on my heart. It's rolling around in my mind. It's causing questions, confusion, frustration, and so much more. Its just plain distracting. I can't seem to grab perspective on it even. It's provided quite a bit of disappointment, and really, discouragement as well. And it is kind of a big deal...at least to me. I have also been fairly emotional about it. Which, when this occurs, my go to is...rationalization. I can't even rationalize my way through it. Needless to say it's got me stuck.
I have tried to pray about it, but really I have mostly "thought" about it.
And, inevitably, I have gotten my eyes so far off of God, and so much on the situation, I can't see clearly.
We had communion today in church. Oh how I love communion. It just forces perspective. It promotes focus. And it reminds me of grace.
Grace for the moment. Grace for the situation. Grace and forgiveness. In those sacred moments, I realized how distracted I truly was. I realized how off topic my thoughts were. Where they had strayed versus where they should have been. And I sighed. I sighed because it happens all of the time. Like the old song, "Prone to wonder, Lord I feel it."
The last several days I have had quite a few moments of anxiety because of fixing my eyes on the disappointment. Disappointment in things, disappointment in people. I have been distracted.
It's amazing how big something can become when you are thinking too much on it. Dwelling on it for too long...you lose perspective.
But, in one sacred moment He brings me back. In that stillness of Him and me, I give Him a moment to speak. And He brings me home. It's beautiful. I begin to see my problem in the light of this Creator God. I see it in the light of His omnipotent grace and love. And all of the sudden it just seems so small. So simple.
Don't get me wrong, it's still important and still is what it is: a problematic situation to work through. BUT in light of Who He is, it just seems manageable. I don't understand all of the ins and outs. I really don't even understand His plans. Yet, I realize it will work out as it should, and all will be well.
Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. —Proverbs 3:5 amp
He is truly so gracious. So patient and merciful through my distraction. God is always unwavering even through my own wavering heart and mind. I have never encountered such unconditional love and grace. Something so sweet and constant through all of life's changes. He is always greater and bigger than any problem I could ever face.
Here is to a recommitment of my heart and mind. Fixing my eyes on my God who is always faithful to provide and work through each situation I face.
Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul. —Psalm 143:8