God speaks to us in so many ways, right?
Well, last night, God spoke through the massive mess of my room. Yes, I promise. And I totally will not use this to justify my messy room/office space. I can't even blame most of the mess on my husband....although he definitely shares the piles of mail sitting on the desk. But, whatever....
So, here's the story. We came back from small groups last night, and we were picking up the house. I had someone coming over for a play date in the morning, and wanted to make sure things looked decent.
Every time we pick things up around the house a new pile of mail from that week gets stacked on the desk. I am being totally transparent here, so don't judge me. We all have our problems. Hi, my name is Christan, and I live in a messy room. I have since I was old enough to make messes. I drove my mom crazy.
My room is the last thing to get cleaned because no one ever goes back there when they come over...and I would never allow it to happen. It's not "dirty" as much as it is completely disorganized. Mainly my laundry and desk. When I was younger, my closet was the last thing to get cleaned because nobody opened my door...except my mother when she was testing me to see if I did what I what she asked. So, see, I have always had a place in my house that remained messy most of the time. It's just me.
When I laid the mail down, I laughed to myself and thought, "Well, here goes another pile on top of the million other piles." And then, my next thought was, "Oh well, as long as I get the rest of the house picked up....doesn't matter, no one will see this mess."
You know where I am going with this, right?
As soon as I turn to walk out of my room, I literally just stopped. A thought begin to flood my mind which I believe was the Lord quietly speaking. That messy room and desk is like the deepest recesses of our hearts. Mine and yours. We keep the surrounding areas, the areas that are regularly seen, picked up and cleaned up. We wouldn't want anyone seeing any of the mess that is in our lives. We want to be orderly and organized, healthy and whole, joyful and thankful....and the list goes on. So, we keep the surface and surrounding areas neat and tidy.
There are two problems with this. Every time we take messes from those surface areas, and place them in the back room where no one goes - our pile of mess gets higher and higher. It becomes more overwhelming to deal with, too much to sort through. So, we leave it there to "sit". The deepest parts of our hearts become messier and messier. Chaos remains so long that we actually begin to not really "see" it anymore. We find ourselves immune to it except every once in a while when we stop long enough to let it bother us...or someone wants a tour of the whole house. Some friends are like that, love you enough or nosy enough :), that they want to see the whole thing. They do not stop at the surface areas.
And, therein lies our second problem. God. He is the friend closer than a brother. He is nosy beyond imagining, and His love none can compare. He not only sees the deepest recesses of our hearts (our messes), He wants to move and operate in those areas as well.
Psalm 139 - I love the whole passage, but this verse sticks out to me today. It's an invitation to our Father to "Search me and know me, know my anxious thoughts. See if there be any offensive way in me."
There is so much stirring in my heart about this subject. I am praying that God continues to show me more about this. I know that He wants to guide all of His children to healthy and balanced lives even in the deepest parts.
Father - help me to not keep the deepest parts of myself closed off to you. Give me strength to remain open, so that you can heal me from the inside out. Show me how, guide me in this truth. Every part, make me whole. And, Father, help others do the same. Help us to know that your love is so great it covers all of our "messes."
PS. I shared this with my husband, Brad, and told him that I might write about it. He asked me if I wanted him to take a picture of it. Nope, I am sorry. Not that transparent!!! :) Speaking of messes and cleaning though, I was picking up my son's playroom later and had another "God moment". I will write about that another day. I think it connects to the words God spoke in my above post.